Open Your Eyes
by anoceannothingfloatson
Summary: Written for the prompt: 'an abusive relationship with Thomas as the abused party and Dark!Jimmy being manipulative and evil.'


**A/N- **Written for the prompt on the DA kink meme on LJ: 'An abusive relationship with Thomas as the abused party and Dark!Jimmy being manipulative and evil.'

* * *

It's easy really.

A few touches here, the right kind of smile there and the older man is wrapped around his finger. Then come the secret kisses and quick fumbles and Jimmy convinces Thomas that they're in love. After that the valet will do anything to please him and it's all a bit pathetic, if he's being completely honest.

Thomas, despite his cool exterior, believes in the fairy tale of it all and Jimmy knows it's nothing but a lie.

He doesn't love Thomas, he doubts he could ever love anyone, but he knows that he needs the man to succeed at Downton.

He has Thomas teach him the ways of the house and how to best get along with the downstairs staff and charm the occupants of upstairs. Thomas teaches him the tricks of the trade and who he should sweet talk and how and Jimmy finds himself promoted to the role of first footman.

He makes sure to shower Thomas with kisses and attention after this because he knows he needs Thomas to stay on his side if he's to progress any further.

And for a while things go well.

Jimmy finds his place in the house and Thomas continues to be at his beck and call and Jimmy finds he is almost… happy.

It's a strange feeling, one that Jimmy hasn't felt for a long time, not since before the war, but it isn't unwelcome.

He finds he likes Downton and, for the most part, the people who live and work there.

But then things start to go wrong.

They're little things at first that test his nerves and make him irritable.

He hides it well from the rest of the staff, he has a façade to maintain, after all, and Thomas bears his angry words with a smile and tries to kiss away Jimmy's foul moods.

It doesn't work.

Alfred becomes a problem as he conspires against him to get on Carson's good side and Jimmy doesn't help himself by making the mistake of speaking out of turn at dinner one evening because, although Ladies Mary and Edith appreciate his humour, Carson does not.

Thomas is no help to him in getting back on Carson's good side. He complains and moans as Jimmy puts pressure on him to put in a good word for him with the butler and grows furious with him when Thomas finally reveals his own poor relationship with Carson. Jimmy loses his temper and lashes out, striking Thomas on the face, and he doesn't get chance to apologise before Thomas flees from sight.

And Jimmy is sorry because Thomas avoids him for the next couple of days and Jimmy doesn't find an opportunity to further ask him about Carson.

He's not sorry to see the split lip and bruised face his lover sports, though, because it gets him his own way.

Thomas says something to Lord Grantham on his behalf and Jimmy finds himself in Carson's good books once again and it's a relief.

Jimmy apologises to Thomas and kisses him and loves him and promises that he'll never hurt him again.

He doesn't know whether he's supposed to be delighted or sickened that Thomas believes every word he says without question and throws everything he has into making Jimmy happy.

Instead he settles for feeling almost sad.

Thomas is desperate for kindness and affection and love and Jimmy becomes aware of how little the older man has been on the receiving end of these emotions in his lifetime. It's almost painful and he knows Thomas is going to be heartbroken when he discovers that Jimmy has been using him all this time.

He doesn't stop, though.

He can't because being loved by Thomas is like an addiction.

He makes Jimmy feel strong and handsome and ready for anything the world may throw at him through kind whispers, adoring touches and small presents of chocolates and sweets found in places only he would look.

But however he is made to feel he knows Thomas is too obvious with his affection and he can't help but act on his frustrations whenever someone makes a comment on Thomas' actions because he's terrified of being caught. He's terrified of being outed, of losing his job and everything he's worked for, of being sent to prison or worse.

He's horrified by the idea of surviving the war only to spend the rest of his life locked up because his lover does not understand the meaning of discretion.

He wants to give Thomas up and save himself but he can't.

The older man has weakened him and Jimmy doesn't know what life is without Thomas anymore.

They fall into a vicious circle.

Thomas is too open with his actions and sometimes someone says something and sometimes it goes unnoticed. Whatever the outcome, it makes Jimmy scared and this fear turns to anger in those few moments they get alone, when Thomas' whole face lights up and he looks at Jimmy like he has hung the moon and all the stars, and Jimmy has to hit him over and over and over to try and make him understand that he needs to be more sly with his affection but Thomas never learns. Jimmy's cruelties only make him try harder to gain Jimmy's love.

He blames Thomas for the abuse he is forced to dole out because if Thomas could just stop then Jimmy wouldn't have to hurt him.

Guilt mixes with the anger that Jimmy feels but he can't stop until Thomas learns. Jimmy bruises him and makes him bleed and still Thomas comes to him with love in his eyes and kisses at the ready.

Jimmy devotes those rare nights that they spend together to apologies and gentle caresses and promises that he doesn't keep.

It isn't long before Jimmy starts to hate himself.

To hate Thomas, too.

He becomes so wrapped up in it all that he doesn't notice the damage he causes.

He doesn't notice the way that Thomas quakes at his approach or that his lover sometimes struggles for breath around cracked and broken ribs and is at risk of losing his job when he spends more days abed recovering from Jimmy's anger than working as his Lordship's valet.

He doesn't notice, after months of the same routine, that Thomas no longer meets his eyes when they are together and there are no more compliments or secret smiles when they are in the company of the others.

There is nothing of what there once was and he doesn't notice.

He is just so angry all the time and he doesn't know how to break free from the never ending circle that is killing them both because he's realised he can't live without Thomas anymore.

He needs him and hates him and is loved by him.

Jimmy thinks that maybe he is beginning to love Thomas back and that only makes things worse because now Jimmy is not only scared of being outed but also of losing Thomas.

He becomes jealous and controlling and so embittered that his façade starts to crack.

His is bad-tempered and short with anyone he comes into contact with and he is barely able to control himself when in the presence of the family he is supposed to serve.

He loses his place as first footman and is treated differently by those downstairs and he doesn't understand why.

Then it hits him.

They know.

They know about him and Thomas and they're disgusted by them, by _him_, and it's all Thomas' fault.

How else would have they worked it out if it weren't for Thomas being so obvious?

It's nothing that Jimmy has done, he's sure of it, because he's never been the one to touch and look and speak as if there could be anything more than a working relationship between them.

A fury so intense that it courses through his veins like fire and consumes him and overcomes him makes him hunt down the man who he loves and detests.

He finds Thomas in the servant's hall and he doesn't see the way that Thomas pales and shrinks away from him as he approaches.

"I need a word with you." Jimmy manages to spit out.

"What about?" O'Brien asks and Jimmy can see it on her face.

She knows.

"Never you mind." He snaps at her as Thomas struggles to his feet.

"What if his Lordship needs him?" Anna asks but Jimmy ignores her.

He grabs Thomas by the elbow and drags him up the stairs and to the room that Thomas has to himself.

"I'm sorry." Thomas whispers to him over and over along the way. "I love you. I'm sorry."

But Jimmy knows his words can't be true.

If Thomas loved him then he would have been more secretive about their relationship, he wouldn't have let everyone find out about them, he wouldn't have put Jimmy at risk of losing his job and going to jail.

And now the world is ending and there's nothing he can do to stop it because they all know and it's all Thomas' fault.

His fury boils over as the door shuts behind them and they are alone.

His first punch knocks Thomas against the wall.

The second leaves him slumped on the floor.

The third is not enough to quell the emotion racing through him.

So he hits and punches and kicks until blood covers his hands and his clothes and his knees give out from exhaustion.

He falls to the floor beside the man he is terrified to be without and he rests his head on Thomas' chest and sobs.

"You made me do this." He whispers. "I didn't want to but you made me and now everyone knows about us. We're going to go to prison, you know, maybe even hang and it's all your fault."

He shifts on the cold floor and brings his lips up to meet Thomas' in a kiss that is wet with tears and blood.

"I love you and I'm sorry. I'm so bloody sorry. I'm just so scared of losing you, Thomas, I'm so scared. I don't want us to be apart." He buries his head in the crook of Thomas' neck. "I love you."

He expects Thomas to wrap his arms around him and tell him that everything is going to be okay.

That he understands.

That he loves Jimmy, too.

He doesn't.

He doesn't move at all.

And Jimmy looks and finally sees.

Thomas is broken beneath him.

His face is barely recognisable under the blood and bruises and, like a halo, there is a pool of deep red on the floor around his head. His chest is still and his valet's uniform is ripped and Jimmy knows he has gone too far.

He cradles Thomas' face in his hands and kisses him for the last time.

"I'm sorry." He says. "I love you."

Then someone knocks on the door and Jimmy laughs.

His world has ended and he has no one else to blame.


End file.
